Our Communication Boundaries
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1
There are no trigger warnings here. This is trauma recovery. Expect to hear heavy things.
Bridge of Hope is a space where people say what actually happened to them. In full. Without a ceiling on it. People share graphic experiences, real details, and the kinds of things that most spaces ask you to soften or summarize. We do not ask that here. The ability to say the unspeakable is part of how it loses its power. We do not use trigger warnings in our meetings. Not because we do not care, but because they do not work the way people think they do. A trigger warning interrupts the speaker in the middle of their own thought, breaks the thread of what they are trying to say, and rarely gives the listener enough time to actually step away before they have already heard it. The warning lands after the damage and costs the speaker something real. Instead, we ask everyone to carry their own awareness into the room. If you are not in a place to hear heavy things today, step away before the meeting or step away when you need to. Come back when you are ready. Knowing your own limits and honoring them is not weakness. It is part of what we are all here to learn.
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2
All emotions are welcome here. Joy, grief, anger, fear, numbness, relief. All of it.
You will not be asked to manage how you feel before you speak and you will not be judged for how your healing sounds. Joy, grief, anger, fear, numbness, relief. If an emotion is real, it belongs here.
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3
Express whatever you feel. Do not take it out on another member.
Yelling, crying, and raw grief are part of healing and are welcome here. This is not a space that requires you to hold yourself together. The one boundary is that emotional expression must not become a vehicle for harm toward others. There is a difference between a person in pain and a person directing that pain at someone else. Pain is always welcome. Directing it at another member is not.
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4
Direct your anger at what was done and who did it. Not at entire groups of people based on race, religion, gender, or identity.
You are free to speak about what was done to you, by whom, and in what context, including by institutions, systems, and people in positions of power over you. What is not permitted is speech that targets a category of people, a race, a religion, an orientation, a gender, an identity, as inherently dangerous, inferior, or deserving of harm. We have all been hurt by specific people and specific systems. We do not redirect that onto people who share a characteristic with whoever hurt us.
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5
No healing path is superior to another.
Medication or none. Therapy or none. Faith or none. Twelve steps or something entirely different. We are not here to validate one approach over others. If something has helped you, you are welcome to share that in the first person. You are not welcome to suggest that someone else's different path is wrong.
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6
We witness. We do not fix.
When someone shares in a meeting, your role is to be present. Not to solve, advise, or redirect. We do not tell each other what to do. We do not say "You should..." What we can do is share what has worked for us personally, in our own experience, offered freely and without pressure. There is a difference between "You should try this" and "This helped me." One is advice. The other is witness. We are here to witness.
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7
What is shared here stays here.
Anything a member shares in a meeting, in a conversation, or anywhere on this platform is shared in confidence. You may take the lessons, the insights, and the healing with you. You do not take the stories. You do not share what other members have disclosed, not with friends, not with family, not publicly, not anonymously. Their story is theirs.
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8
Shares are received, not responded to. No advice. No follow-up questions.
When someone shares, the room holds it. You are welcome to say something resonated with you, or that you can relate. What you may not do is offer advice, respond directly to what was said, or ask someone to explain themselves. Each share stands on its own.
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9
After someone shares, you may unmute and thank them.
When a person finishes sharing, the host and anyone who chooses to may unmute and thank the sharer. Letting someone know they were heard is one of the most important things we do here. The host holds time for this after each share and before the next person begins.
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10
Give others the floor before sharing again.
If someone has not had a chance to share, give them the floor before you share again. The five-minute limit protects time. This protects access. We want everyone who came to speak to have the chance to be heard.
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11
Meet people where they are. Some members are raw, reactive, or early in their healing. Approach them with patience.
Emotions are hard to manage, especially for people who have been through what brought us here. You will encounter members who are raw, reactive, or in a place you left behind a long time ago. Meet them there. Not because you are required to be endlessly accommodating, but because someone once met you where you were.
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12
Disagreement is allowed. Contempt is not.
Members will not always agree. That is fine. Honest disagreement, including disagreement that is direct and uncomfortable, is part of real community. What is not permitted is contempt, treating another member as less than, attacking their character, mocking their experience, or engaging in sustained cruelty. Challenge ideas. Challenge behavior. Do not dehumanize the person.
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13
Keep your phone muted when you are not speaking. If you need to raise your voice or yell, pull away from the phone first.
When you are not sharing, your phone stays on mute. This protects the person speaking from background noise, distraction, and interruption. If a participant repeatedly fails to mute, hosts have the authority to mute them or ask them to rejoin. If you need to raise your voice or yell, please pull away from your phone or microphone first.
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14
We each keep our own time. Shares are five minutes. There is a timer at the top of the Calendar page for all to use.
When you share, you are responsible for keeping yourself to five minutes. This is not something a host tracks or enforces. It is something each of us holds as an act of care for everyone else in the room waiting for their turn. If you lose track, a gentle signal from another member is always appropriate.