Help Me Now
You came to this page because something is hard right now. Good. You are in the right place. Take one slow breath while this loads in your mind: you do not have to fix everything. Just this moment.
We are a peer community, not a crisis service. If you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, the people below are trained for exactly this moment, and they pick up.
If someone is hurt or in immediate danger, call 911.
Tools for this exact feeling
Pick the sentence that sounds like right now. Each one opens three things you can do in the next few minutes.
Name 5 things you can see. With each thing look at it for at least 5 second.
Name 4 things you can touch. Touch each one for 5 seconds.
Name 3 things you can hear. Listen to each one for 5 seconds.
Name 2 things you can smell, or two smells you like.
Name 1 thing you can taste.
You are here. Right now. In this room.
Why this works: Sensory grounding: widely used in trauma-informed care
Run cold water over your hands and wrists.
Feel the temperature. Feel the pressure.
Stay with the sensation for at least 30 seconds.
Cold water activates the parasympathetic nervous system.
It tells your body: you are safe right now.
Why this works: Based on physiological grounding techniques
My name is _____.
I am in _____ (room, city, building).
The date is _____.
I am safe right now. Or: I am safer than I was.
The thing I am afraid of is not happening right now.
Say it again if you need to.
Why this works: Orienting - used in EMDR and trauma stabilization
Most cravings peak and pass within 3-15 minutes.
Do not fight it. Watch it.
Notice where you feel it in your body.
Notice it rise.
Notice it peak.
Notice it begin to fall.
You do not have to do anything. Just watch it move through you.
Why this works: Urge surfing - from Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention
Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Do one thing, anything, that is not the urge.
Walk. Text someone. Drink water. Watch something.
When the timer goes off: 15 more minutes, or check in with yourself.
Most cravings do not survive 15 minutes of something else.
Why this works: Delay and distract - behavioral addiction toolkit
Even if you cannot feel it right now, it exists.
Write or say: I am doing this because _____.
Write or say: If I give in right now, what am I choosing?
Write or say: If I hold on right now, what am I choosing?
You already know the answer. That is why you are here.
Feel the floor pushing back.
Press harder.
Notice that the floor is solid.
Notice that you are sitting or standing on something real.
You are here. Not there. Here.
Why this works: Grounding for dissociation and flashback - trauma-informed
But you are not there anymore.
Look at your hands. They are older than they were then.
Look around the room. This is not where it happened.
Say: That was then. This is now. I am safe right now.
Say it as many times as you need to.
Why this works: Temporal orientation - EMDR stabilization protocol
Make it as solid as you need it to be.
Put the memory in the container.
Close the lid. Lock it if you need to.
The memory is still there. You are not erasing it.
You are choosing when you look at it.
You can open it later, when you have support. Not right now.
Why this works: Containment imagery - phase-oriented trauma treatment
Hold for 4 counts.
Breathe out for 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts.
Repeat 4 times.
This is what Navy SEALs use before entering a building.
It works because it gives your nervous system a signal:
you are in control of something.
Why this works: Tactical breathing - evidence base in stress physiology
You do not have to.
What is the one next thing?
Not the whole problem. Not tomorrow. Just the next thing.
Do that one thing.
Then ask the question again.
Why this works: Task reduction - CBT overwhelm management
Set a timer for 10 minutes.
The problem will still be there when it goes off.
You do not have to solve it right now.
For 10 minutes: do something that requires your attention.
Then come back, or set another 10 minutes.
T - Take a breath. One slow breath. Then another.
O - Observe. What is happening in your body right now?
P - Proceed. What do you want to choose to do?
You have more time than you think.
The moment between the trigger and the action is yours.
Why this works: STOP skill - DBT distress tolerance
Go somewhere private.
Yell into a pillow.
Do pushups or jumping jacks until you cannot think.
Walk as fast as you can for 5 minutes.
Tear up paper.
Squeeze ice if you have it.
Move the energy. Do not direct it at a person.
Why this works: Physical discharge - trauma and anger management
If you are about to say or do something you cannot take back:
Leave the room. Say "I need a minute." Walk away.
You can come back to the conversation when the flood has passed.
You cannot take back what happens next if you stay.
If you did not write it down, do it now:
Why did I leave?
What happened that I do not want to go back to?
What do I want for myself that contact makes harder?
Read it. Read it again.
The urge is real. So is what you wrote.
Write the message. Or write what you want to say.
Write it all the way. Do not hold back.
Now: do not send it for 24 hours.
If you still want to send it in 24 hours, reconsider.
Most contact urges do not survive 24 hours of being written but not sent.
What do you actually want right now?
Comfort? Closure? To feel less alone? To feel something?
To punish them? To be punished?
To feel like it was real?
Can you get that thing another way, from someone safe?
What would happen if you reached out? Honestly.
Just 15 minutes.
Set a timer.
Do anything: walk, breathe, hold ice, call someone.
When the timer goes off: 15 more minutes.
The urge will not stay at this intensity. It will change.
Wait for it to change.
Why this works: Delay technique - self-harm recovery protocols
Who is one person you can contact in the next two minutes?
Not to explain everything. Just to be with someone.
Text them: "I need someone right now."
That is enough. You do not need to say more.
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text): 988
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
International Association for Suicide Prevention:
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
You do not have to be suicidal to call.
You can call because you want to hurt yourself.
They will not judge you. They will just be there.
We are not going to tell you it will all be fine.
We are going to stay with you.
First: are you physically safe where you are right now?
If you are in immediate danger, call 988 or go to an emergency room.
If you are having thoughts but are safe:
Read the next tool. Stay with us.
This is a list of anything.
Write down one thing, even one small thing,
that you would want to see, do, feel, or know.
A person. A season. An answer to a question.
A meal. A song. A place you have not been yet.
You do not have to believe the list right now.
Just write it.
Why this works: Reasons for living - adapted from DBT crisis protocol
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
Trevor Project (LGBTQ+): 1-866-488-7386
Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)
Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860
International: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Bridge of Hope conference line: (848) 777-1212 / 81221#
At the top, take one more small breath in, a sip of air.
Now breathe out slowly, as long as you can.
Do this twice.
This is the fastest known way to downregulate the nervous system.
It works in under 60 seconds.
Why this works: Physiological sigh - Huberman Lab / Stanford breathing research
Hold it in your hand, or press it against the back of your neck.
Stay with the sensation. Let it be the only thing you focus on.
The cold gives your brain something real to process right now.
Keep it there for at least 30 seconds, or as long as you need.
Why this works: Cold stimulates the vagus nerve, triggering the parasympathetic system to counter the alarm state. The sensation also pulls your brain into the present moment so the panic loop breaks.
Your body activated its emergency system.
It does not know the emergency is not real.
Say out loud:
"This is a panic attack. I am not in danger.
It will peak and pass. I have been through this before."
Breathe slowly. The peak is coming. Then it will pass.
Why this works: Cognitive reassurance - panic disorder CBT
There are meetings happening on a regular schedule.
Real people. Real voices. No agenda required.
You can just show up. You can just listen.
You do not have to say a word.
Just one person.
Text one person something real.
It does not have to be the whole thing.
"I am having a hard night."
"Can I tell you something?"
"Are you around?"
One message. That is all.
It says no one cares. It says you are the only one.
Right now, somewhere in the world, someone else is awake
feeling exactly what you are feeling.
They are in the same darkness. They do not know you exist.
But you are not alone in it.
That is true even when it does not feel true.
When the timer goes off, put the pen down. You do not have to solve any of it. You just moved it out of your brain and into a place it can wait.
Why this works: Expressive writing reduces cognitive load by externalizing intrusive thoughts, giving the mind permission to stop holding them.
Say out loud or in your head: I am having the thought that ___.
Not: I am ___ or This is true.
Just: I am having the thought that ___.
Do it again with another thought if needed. You are not arguing with the thoughts. You are just putting a little space between you and them. That space is enough to breathe.
Why this works: Cognitive defusion from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy reduces the power of intrusive thoughts by creating distance between the thinker and the thought.
300. 297. 294. 291...
This is not a trick. It just requires enough of your brain to crowd out the spiral. You do not need to get to zero. You just need to interrupt the loop long enough to take a breath.
When you lose track, start over. That is fine. The losing track is the point.
Why this works: Arithmetic tasks engage the prefrontal cortex and interrupt rumination loops in the default mode network.
Do you have a feeling you need to overcome in a moment that is not listed here? Let us know and we will try to add it.
Whatever brought you here, you handled this moment by looking for a way through it. That counts. When you are ready, meetings are a good place to not be alone.